We never know what people deal with on the inside where no one else can really see. We can never fully look into the dark corners and cobwebbed spaces of someone else’s heart. When someone does invite you in and does shine a light, albeit dim, it’s a responsibility not to be taken lightly.
I’ve been in a particularly interesting conversation about “food stuff” with some of my gorgeous women friends over the past week. We’ve talked about food as punishment and food as reward, food as hate and food as love. And, of course, sometimes an Oreo is just an Oreo, nothing less and nothing more.
As you’re getting to know me, you’ll learn all kinds of things about what makes me who I am (even I’m still learning), and the truth is that food has been–and sometimes continues to be–everything from punishment to reward to hate to love. I’m not alone in this.
So with all the honest conversations going on in the background, I thought it appropriate to tell you how much I hate seeing myself on video. Okay, it’s 37 steps BEYOND hate, or like hate to the 37th power.
I hate seeing myself on video for lots of reasons that I won’t go into here, but I also don’t like that I’ve always felt so much self-loathing when it comes to my appearance. I don’t like it that I have so many gorgeous friends who don’t feel beautiful, either. And, frankly, I don’t prefer that things should stay this way.
So, how do we start changing this? How do we start lighting up the darkness, and stop the automatic ‘shame switch’ from flipping on?
Maybe the first thing we do is make a video of us being real and then post it online, and then get used to feeling all the stuff that comes up with it. Maybe if we decide to persistently and pointedly face the demons, they’ll get bored and move on to somewhere else.
It may not work, but it could…and just what if it did.
To Your Adventure,