I am an excellent worrier when I set my mind to it. I can deeply and profoundly worry about the color of my living room wall and the lack of color on my bathroom wall. I can worry about whether my grass is going to grow in the spring and whether I am living the life I am supposed to be. I can worry that I’ll never write another song again, and I can worry that no one will ever write with me again. ALL IN THE SPAN OF TWO MINUTES.
Yes, gang, I could be the Homecoming Queen of the University of Worry.
The good news is that I’m in recovery. Step by step, a little at a time, I’m learning how to STOP the absurdity. I’m starting to let go of my responsibility to take care of the entire world and everything it holds. As it turns out, the Savior has come, and it is not me.
Whew!
When I look at the definition of ‘worry’ and it includes the word ‘torment,’ I totally get it.
Worry is torment.
So, in order to give myself some perspective, I started replacing the word “worried” with “tormenting myself.” For example, if my old sentence was I’m worried about that, my sentence now is I’m tormenting myself about that.
I know that worry is wasted energy. I’m intelligent enough to see that I can worry all day about something and it is not going to help the situation. Regardless, I still do it. However, I’ve realized that switching the word ‘worrying’ out for ‘tormenting myself’ changes my perspective. I have no interest in tormenting myself. Do you?
Torment sounds so dramatic.
And no one likes a drama queen.
If You Insist
Here is my list of five excellent questions you as a writer can torment yourself with, though, if you insist. These are questions we all ask, and questions which are brilliant time-wasters. If you’re looking to be more popular at the University of Worry, these are the top five tormentors.
(I’ve also included my answers in case worrying is getting boring and you’d like to move on. Further, I’ve included a gratuitous shot of Bernice as a puppy purely for manipulative purposes.)
1. Am I crazy for pursuing writing?
Yes.
Welcome to our club.
2. Who am I to think my words matter?
Who are you not to think they matter?
3. Am I a good enough writer?
Keep writing and you’ll find out.
4. What if I never get published?
Writers write.
5. Do I look fat today?
Did you look fat yesterday? Well, there’s your answer.
Why don’t you try replacing the word “worry” with “torment” for the next 30 days. Just see if it makes you feel as ridiculous as it does me. Then, take all that new mental space and focus on something good and positive. I bet you’ll love the results.
To your adventure–
Belinda
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