What I Wish I’d Have Known When I Started in the Biz: Part I

What I wish I’d known about the songwriting world that I had to learn the hard way.

So THERE’S a topic!!!!

I take on two groups of songwriters to mentor each year, and one of the main questions I get in those groups is HOW DO I GET MY SONGS CUT?

Oh, dear writer. How I wish I could give you the magic recipe. How I wish I had the magic recipe.

Of course, there isn’t one. And ultimately, who knows?

BUT…

Having been on both sides of the aspirational coin, let me clue you in on a few facts that may just keep your self-esteem out of the toilet when you feel like you just can’t get anything recorded.

1. Sometimes you just big fat don’t have a shot at a recording.

There are so many reasons. I can’t even begin to fully delve into the politics, the egos and the financial machine that is the ‘biz,’ but you should know that there are truly times when you just don’t have a shot.

It’s not you.
It’s not your song.
Bottom line: It’s just not going to happen sometimes.

2. Some slots are solicited behind the scenes.

Every project that comes up is NOT wide open. Here are a few examples of why:

Artists solicit writers they know & trust. Sometimes it’s just easier.
Labels may want to own some of the publishing on a recording so their writers get 1st consideration.
Artists want to write on their own records so they co-write with established writers.
Producers want to get their own tunes on the record (royalties, anyone?)

Bottom Line: There are a lot of things going on you don’t know about.

3. It really is who you know sometimes.

Ask my mentorees, I preach about making connections. No, I actually harp on it. NAG, even. Why?

Because your chances of getting your songs heard are ASTRONOMICALLY better when you’re shooting something over to a friend vs. stalking some guy through a dark parking lot. (Trust me…wait…what?)

Bottom Line: Relationships matter.

Listen Up!

This is NOT a rant about the big, bad business. Make no mistake. Niles Quote1

Instead, this is a reminder that you don’t have to take every pass personally. It’s really not always about you.

The next time you’re sitting in your pool of pitiful feeling like you can’t write your way out of a paper bag, remember that things aren’t always as they seem on the surface.

I know it can feel tough sometimes. That’s even why I added my Platinum level of mentoring. I definitely can’t guarantee anything for anyone, but I know that if I co-write with someone, the song will at least get heard. I’ve been in the vacuum before, and I know how it feels.

My first publisher told me something when I moved to Nashville that I’ve never forgotten.  He said the difference between a lot of successful writers and unsuccessful writers is persistence.

He said, “I’m successful because a lot of more-talented writers than me got discouraged and went home.”

Hold that one in your heart, Gang.
You just might need it one of these days.

Help! My Co-Writer Butchered My Song

CoWriterDrama

 

 

 

One of my first ever super-cool ideas for a song was butchered by a co-writer. I don’t mean he stunk it up a little, I mean what was once a cool idea became an unsightly boil on the hind end of my little catalogue of creations for all of eternity.

I still shudder when I think about how it all went down and what a WASTED opportunity it was.

The truth is I was new to Nashville. I didn’t know anything about co-writing, but people told me to do it. So, I figured it was as good a way as any to meet people. In my naiveté, it never occurred to me that just because someone SAID they were a songwriter, it didn’t mean they knew how to write a song.

I’d packed up my life in WV and moved to the ‘big city.’ I assumed that anyone who did that had to be good. Otherwise, why would you move here?

Poor Sweet Ignorant Soul

Before I knew it, I’d given a really cool idea to guy who had no idea what to do with it and no respect for me as a writer. We got together once—long enough for me to realize that I’d made a huge mistake. Not long after that, I got a note that he’d finished  it with another writer (without bothering to include me) along with a bill for my 1/3 of the demo.

…I nearly pulled back my hair and took out my earrings!!!

 

Today, Gang, such a thing wouldn’t go down that way. I’m much, much more experienced, and I can handle a rogue if need be. (That means I can unleash my inner hillbilly, in case you didn’t catch it.)

However, the truth is there are growing pains to be had along the way. We all have them.

Since I’ve been there on a few occasions, let me give you a little advice just in case, God forbid, it happens to you as you’re wandering merrily along your way.

1. Open communication with your co-writer is not an option.

When you tell your co-writer about your super-amazing-brilliant idea, your job is communicate EVERYTHING about the idea. If you hear the song a certain way, tell them. Do not assume your brand new acquaintance can hear what’s in your head. NEVER assume that.

For example, it never occurred to me during that awful co-write experience I told you about that he wouldn’t hear the song like I did. It was just so obvious to me. …yeah, he did NOT hear the obvious.

2. Be open to hearing your idea a different way.

Before you fall off the deep end, take a step back and breathe. Consider, for a moment, that you’re wrong. What if they really did nail it and you’re the one missing it. You owe it to the song to listen with an open mind.

3. You work in service of the song.

At the end of the day, it’s not about your ego and it’s not about your co-writer’s ego. The dialogue is about the song and what serves it.

If it was your idea, and you and your co-writer can’t get on the same page, then politely ask for it back. It’s not a big deal. Just say, “Hey, this isn’t going where I wanted it to, so I’d like to take it back off the table. Let’s look for something that fits our collective styles a little better.” NO BIG DEAL. I’ve done it, and I’ve had it done to me. Absolutely no hard feelings.

Have you had an experience similar to mine? I’d love to hear about how you handled it.

 

I Had to Disappear…no, really…

I knew the past 6 weeks were going to be busy. I thought I was ready for it. I had mapped out my schedule, penned in slots for everything I needed to do, prioritized and pep-talked myself all the way to the beginning of the start. I was psyched. I was ready.

My mantra: Tweet: No matter what, be kind to yourself. @belindascre8iveNo matter what, be kind to yourself.

And for the past six weeks, I was on airplanes every week, I was in an intense Life Coach certification school, I was finishing up my very first ever Christmas musical (insert shameless plug here for, “Once You’ve Seen the Star,” coming soon), and I had a heavy disability advocacy case load (which meant lots more studying.)

Well, you’ve heard what is said about the best laid plans…

Gang, at about week 3, I looked around and thought, “Holy Mother of the Cows! What have I gotten myself into?!”

Cow

Calls started going unanswered, emails unreturned, I was missing Facebook messages, and my friends were thinking I’d left town for good.

At the point panic was about to take over, and under the heading of being kind to myself, I took an afternoon off. I happened to be in New Bern, NC, and it was a gorgeous day. So, I locked up my computer, my cell phone, my files, my manuals and my worries, and I just walked around. I wandered in and out of galleries and tiny specialty shops. I ate toast with butter (a HEAVENLY accident) at a little diner. I perused the Pepsi shop—the place where Pepsi was invented, and I took a long walk around the bay.

In other words, I took some time to participate in the world outside of ‘me.’ I stopped focusing on Princess Belinda (gasp!).

During that afternoon, I appreciated all kinds of beautiful and fun things. And to be honest, it was course-changing.

On the plane flying home to Nashville that night, I decided that for the next few weeks, there were some emails and calls that were going to have to go unanswered. I was going to postpone the launch of Dashboard Poets AND my 1-on-1 Mentoring course. My newsletter wasn’t going to go out, and I was going to miss a few social gatherings. And that was ok.

Sometimes you have to be where you are.
Sometimes you get your answers when you’re not actively looking for them.
And, like my Dad always says:

All you can do is ALL you can do.

And it’s ok.

…because when you get back from your personal hiatus, you’re going to be ready to get some serious stuff done!!! BAM!

Do You Ever Just FREAK Out?

So, picture this: I got on a plane and flew to Savannah, GA, for dinner. For DINNER! 

Well, okay, it wasn’t just any ol’ dinner. I threw my name in when Susan Hyatt announced her, “Girlfriends Gone Wild” event. One night, 20 fabulous women, a little life coaching and great food. 

Doesn’t it all sound like fun? Well, it was. …until it came time to actually ENTER the restaurant.

See, I’ve always had this ‘thing’ about walking into rooms of people I don’t know. It’s odd—I can be on stage in front of thousands and not bat an eye. I can teach a group without a moment’s hesitation. But to just walk in to a room of strangers and have to start making small talk??? deer.jpg

Jesus, take the wheel.

Guess what? THIS IS SOMETHING I HAVE TO DO! I mean, I just big fat have to do it sometimes. Why? 

Tweet: Relationships are everything.#songwriters #womeninbusiness @BelindaSCre8iveRelationships are everything.

Relationships are imperative for what we do. (Yes, for WHATEVER we do.) And, no, I’m not talking networking. I don’t know about you, but I don’t want anyone’s business card unless I want it, and it’s likely that I don’t want it if there’s no connection. (Soapbox for a another day.)

So here’s how I handled my good, old-fashioned FREAKING OUT about entering a room of people I didn’t know. 

1. I decided on my question. 

You know, the question—So, what do you do?  I spent a lot of years working at a job that in no way defined me or gave much insight into who I really was, and it was during that time that I stopped asking people what they ‘did.’ I’m not as interested in what someone does as who they are. So, I started asking other questions—What do you like to do for fun? or I’m planning my next vacation. Where’s your favorite vacation spot?  Based on who was going to be attending this particular event, I decided my question was, “So what are you most proud of?” (…it was a good one.)

2. I decided on my answer.

Even though I don’t love the question about what I do, I knew I was going to be asked. Here’s the start of my answer: My name is Belinda Smith, and I work with the best people in the world. 

3. I reminded myself of why I was there in the first place.

I was there to meet, be inspired by, and to inspire amazing women. …and I’d just taken a night away from home to do it. SOMEONE was going to make it worth the trip whether they liked it or not! 

Needless to say, I stepped out of my comfort zone in a BIG way. And, yes, it was worth it. For me, though, thinking about how I was going to show up and the kinds of conversations I wanted to have really did help the room-anxiety. It was like I’d given myself a road map of sorts, and Heaven knows we all need a little direction.

So, now that you know about my ’thing,’ do you have tips on how YOU do this? How do you do parties with strangers? HELP ME OUT HERE! 

5 Ways Resistance Kicks My Hiney

 

I’ve had a little time to catch up on some reading the past few weeks, and I’ve been thinking a lot about my processes. One habit I’m really interested in dealing with is my, er, “ability” to put things off till the last minute. Let’s just say that I would be a gold medalist if that were a sport.

The cruddy part about this, though, is that I don’t like it. I don’t like how it feels, and I don’t like that I do it. So, it’s time to face this Enemy head-on. …I mean, in a minute, after I write this.

PROCRASTINATION = RESISTANCE

I would wager that I’m one of the best ‘resisters’ ever. I’ve always chalked up my ability to procrastinate as just one of my eccentricities. However, I’m starting to look at it a little differently these days.

Steven Pressfield says the following in his book, “The War of Art”:

Tweet: Resistance will tell you anything to keep you from doing your work.Resistance will tell you anything to keep you from doing your work.

 

And I’m really starting to see that in my own life. I’m also noticing a HUGE amount of procrastinating with the things I’m most excited about doing.

“Resistance is not a peripheral opponent. Resistance arises from within. It is self-generated and self-perpetuated. Resistance is the enemy within.” –Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

Here are the Top#5 Tool that Resistance Uses on Me:

  1. Worry. If I’m not careful, Resistance will plant something in my mind to worry about, and then if I don’t worry about sRESISTANCEaid thing, Resistance will tell me I should worry that I’m not worried. And then I worry. But I may not worry about the original thing because, even though I worry, I’m still stubborn.
  2. Facebook. Yep.
  3. Shoes. I’m convinced that I don’t get nearly as much accomplished if I don’t have my shoes on. Of course, the right shoes are never where I think they are, and so search must ensue. Before you know it, I’m 15 minutes behind again.
  4. Email. Did I reply to that? Wait, where did that email go? Am I too late to reply? Should I email anyway? …you know the drill.
  5. Bernice. Bernice is my pug. I have three dogs, but Bernice is the only one that doesn’t know she’s a dog. Bernice is a little, wrinkled, loaf-shaped stinker who will do ANYTHING to keep me from working. She wins a lot. (I’m such a softie.)

You should know that just in writing this little note to you, I’ve worried about my next electric bill (it’s 7 degrees out right now), I’ve had to fight the urge to check my Facebook messages, I’m wearing big warm socks and I’m PROFOUNDLY aware that my sneakers are in my closet and NOT on my feet, I have 2 new email messages in my inbox (that I haven’t checked!), and Bernice has climbed in my lap. (Hey, I didn’t say I’ve got it figured out yet!)

So, going forward I’m paying attention to these five things, and I’m going to be more conscious of managing Resistance. I have exciting things on the books, and I want to be present for them.

Do you notice any Resistance in your life? Am I the lone weirdo here? (Wouldn’t be the first time. ha)

Saddle Up Your Horses

 

Confession: I HATE NEW YEAR’S EVE.

New Year’s Eve is NOT my thing. For years I’d try to pretend that it was fun, but a while back I gave myself permission to stay home a

NEWYEARSEVEWHATEVER

nd enjoy the quiet. That was one of the best decisions I ever made. I just couldn’t handle the ‘fun pressure’ anymore. Bleh. I’m a geek. Geeks Rock.

HOWEVER:

I can totally get behind a brand new cool calendar.

A new set of color markers.

A clean slate.

Possibility.

Hope.

A whole year to make new ideas reality? Yes.

And, Beautifuls, I have NEW ideas. So, so many ideas.

 

SO LET’S DO THIS

I’m playing with my calendar and my markers, and I’m dreaming really big. I’m praying for my dreams and for yours tonight.

 

And, to quote an old favorite, SADDLE UP YOUR HORSES, WE’VE GOT A TRAIL TO BLAZE. 

 

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

What’s your big plan for next year? Come on, inspire us!
Here’s to finding True North, putting one foot in front of the other, and moving forward with a good community.

The Funeral Dress

One habit I developed a long time ago is that I write a song for nearly every book I read. I love to read, but I always used to feel guilty if I were reading and not working on a new song. (I’m so good at guilt.)FuneralDress

I remember the day I was telling my dear friend and fellow songwriter, Joel Lindsey, about it.  He said, “Belinda, it’s research. Read as much as you want because you get ideas from books.” We were at South Street Grille here in Nashville, and every time I go there I think about our conversation. I came up with the Novel Theme Song Plan out on that patio.

Fast forward many years, and many Novel Theme Songs, to summer 2013. I was invited to be on staff at the Appalachian Young Writers’ Workshop at Lincoln Memorial University, and when the director told me that Susan Gregg Gilmore would be the fiction teacher, I was stoked. I had read her first book, “Looking for Salvation at the Dairy Queen,” and loved it. Besides, I’m always fascinated with novelists; how on Earth does anyone concentrate on one thing for so long?

After a week of living in dorm rooms again, eating cafeteria food and surviving middle-of-the-night tornado warnings, Susan is officially one of my favorite humans.

 

The Cool Part

Here’s a very, very truncated version of one of our conversations:

Me: So do you have a new novel in the works? (I know writers hate this question. I asked anyway.)

Susan: Yes, it’s actually coming out in September. I’m really excited about it.

Me: Awesome. What’s it called?

Susan: The Funeral Dress.

Me: There’s song in that title.

Susan: Oh, it would be so cool if you wrote a song for the book!

Me: I’ll totally write a song for the book. (Thinking: She doesn’t know that I’m not allowed to read it if I don’t.)

And then a week later, Susan leaves me the following voice mail:
“Hey, I talked to Random House about your writing the song. They LOVE the idea! Call me.”

WHAT?

WHAT JUST HAPPENED HERE?

Gang, the Novel Theme Song has finally come into its own. And, honestly, I couldn’t be more proud of Susan and her novel. It’s so much fun for me to be able to add in even a small way to the release of, “The Funeral Dress.”

Today, I’m inviting you to check out your local bookstore (always support them first) or click here to order your copy.

And then you should write your own Novel Theme Song. You never know what could happen.

Here’s to supporting a fellow writer!

 

Ashley Judd’s Puffy Face Moment: Here’s Mine

Richard Drew

 

Ashley Judd rocks.

My impression of Ashley has always been that she is a smart woman, and I’ve always liked her work.  I was thinking about her today and I have to say that no matter in what I context I see her, she’s always a bright spot for me.

Ashley took issue with an interviewer who commented on her ‘puffy face’ by writing a brilliant op-ed piece in the Daily Beast. If you haven’t read it, read it here.

Tonight as I watched her interview, and when she invited women to talk about their “puffy face” moment, I have to admit that I can hardly narrow down to just one.

However, because I’m so moved by Ashley’s ‘accidental’ platform, I’m going to tell you about what I would characterize as my biggest “puffy face” moment.

I grew up with certain musical role models. If I were naming names, and I’m not, I could give you three singers who influenced my every move from about the time I was nine years old. I tried to sing like them, I wore my hair like them, I tried to dress like them and I even tried to copy their speaking accent.  I learned how to sing harmony from wearing out their cassettes (yes, cassettes). Ultimately, I was just a kid, but my entire life direction was set in motion by my looking up to these women.

After college, and through a strange series of events, I got an opportunity to sing on stage at an event that one of these women was hosting. It was going to be a dream come true. I was beyond excited. No, I didn’t still copy my life after Her, but I did have a special place for her in my heart. I was so proud to be included.

The night came and fell pretty flat on the awesome-scale. I was mostly treated like an annoyance. I remember having to find a random room with an outlet where I could plug in a curling iron, I had to use my compact  mirror, and I had to change in the public bathroom. On the other hand, She had a dressing room and a professional make-up artist. She kept a good distance from me for the whole evening.

That was fine, I thought. I’m just learning how all this works, right?

After a little more time went by, I was told that She had said that she would never sing on a stage with me because I was too fat.

What?

She would never sing on stage with me because I was too fat.

And you know what? I was too fat. My hair was naturally huge and I hadn’t figured that all out, especially with no access to a mirror. I couldn’t wear high heels on her stage because my foot is paralyzed and I can’t. I wasn’t exactly the most gorgeous package going at that time.

I didn’t have an image with which she wanted to align her stage persona. I felt like she had told everyone around me that I was fat and ugly, and that they were all uncomfortable in the knowing. She hurt my feelings in a way that it still hurts all these years later.

But, I could sing. So I was a gross human being, I could carry a tune!

However, when I heard the recording of the night later, my entrance was obnoxiously overdubbed by Her.

I guess you could say that a woman I had trusted for years had torn me down to the point that I no longer had confidence in the direction I’d thought I was supposed to go. In the way she treated me based on my physical appearance, I felt like she was the meanest of the mean. To this day, the only solace I find in the whole story is that I’m thinner than she is now.

And you know what? This whole story and every part of it, hers and mine, are both just us playing into the junk we have been fed by society. Ashley says it well here:

I ask especially how we can leverage strong female-to-female alliances to confront and change that there is no winning here as women. It doesn’t actually matter if we are aging naturally, or resorting to surgical assistance. We experience brutal criticism. The dialogue is constructed so that our bodies are a source of speculation, ridicule, and invalidation, as if they belong to others—and in my case, to the actual public. 

We do experience brutal criticism.

We experience it at the hands of each other.

And we’re guilty of dishing it out.

Women, I think we can do better.

I’ll go first.

To Your Adventure,

Belinda

The Single Best Way to Get What You Want


I was at a lunch meeting with some particularly successful and powerful women. 

You know how you can just tell when someone at the table would like the salt passed to them? You know that whole non-verbal thing that happens? When they don’t want to interrupt the discussion so they just act uncomfortable until finally someone notices and hands it over?

Well, Lauren wanted the salt (name changed to protect Lauren’s identity). It was just out of her reach.

As the lively discussion carried on, she did the entire routine we all do when we need a condiment we cannot politely reach.  Honestly, Lauren’s performance was pure perfection. If an award existed for a, “Non-Verbal Please Pass the Salt Routine,” Lauren would have totally won it.  It was so silently compelling that I almost got up myself and took her some from my end of the table.

However, her Salt Gatekeeper didn’t seem to notice. She kept right on talking and laughing as if nothing were happening.

Salt Gatekeeper is a beautiful woman of about sixty, and she runs a highly successful company. Salt Gatekeeper is impressively on top of things, and what I would call a ‘mover and a shaker’ in town. She lives on a fortune of great decisions, and she is well-liked by everyone. It was actually almost weird that she didn’t catch Lauren’s plea for salt.

Finally, Lauren gave up and started eating without it.

However, in a matter of minutes, I watched Lauren’s countenance go from ‘So Happy to Be Here’ to ‘I Hate Everyone and Everything.’

Her entire mood changed.  She withdrew from the conversation, she stared at her plate, and she slumped her shoulders. It was so noticeable (finally, she got noticed!) that Salt Gatekeeper asked her a pointed question. It was an obvious attempt to draw her into the conversation.

Lauren just shrugged and said, “I don’t know.”

She didn’t participate in the rest of the meeting.

At all.

Really.                                                                    

She pouted for the rest of the lunch.

Over salt.

As we left the fabulous restaurant, Salt Gatekeeper reached for Lauren’s arm.  She  looked her dead in the eyes and said, “Honey, if you don’t learn to ask for what you want, you’re never going to get it.” 

With that, she turned on her heel, got in her big, shiny Mercedes and drove away.

What’s the best way to get what you want?

Ask for it.

Now, pass the salt and point me to my awesome new car.

 

To Your Adventure,

Belinda

In Business and Creativity: When Possibility Happens

A few days ago, I was having dinner with a friend.  She said, “Belinda, there is a momentum around you right now.  What are you doing?”

A momentum!

Cool.

Without really thinking about my answer, I said, “I’m encouraging people, and it’s what I was put here to do. I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”

I started Belinda Smith Creative because I wanted to make it official, but the truth is I’m not doing anything that I didn’t already do. I’m a born-encourager and I get real joy out of seeing people surprise themselves in magnificent ways. 

I asked my friend about her business, and as she began to tell me how she was running it—or more accurately how her business was running her–I gave her three ideas about where she could make money now with just a little effort.  I was just brainstorming on the spot, but I could completely tell when ‘possibility’ happened for her. 

The moment she realized that she could work a little differently (not more) and get faster and better results, her entire countenance changed. A light bulb actually came on in her head. 

My ‘possibility’ happened when I created my songwriter Tune-Up academy. 

When I decided to leave all the old models I knew behind and create the program I personally believed in, I wasn’t sure if anyone would get on board.  I’m elated that regional writers ARE on board and they are changing their thoughts and their communities.  It was a risk, but it has been one of the best things I’ve ever done.

We get so stuck in our own ways of doing things that sometimes it is hard to move our own thoughts out of the old patterns. 

 I’ve done it in my business, and I’ve done it in my songwriting.

 If we do what we’ve always done, we’ll get what we’ve always gotten.

My challenge to you this week is to find one thing in your life that needs a little prodding forward and take action toward making a change.

  • If you want to start exercising, start walking.
  • If you want to finish a song, then take the week and finish one.
  • If you need to find some new and meaningful song ideas, then sign up for my Free Creativity Lesson (you’ll be surprised how many ideas you’re missing).

Do something to move yourself forward this week, and this time next week you’ll feel AMAZING!

 

To Your Adventure,

 Belinda

 

p.s. Let me know how it goes!